Therapeutic Relationship

Authentically embodying compassion and wisdom when we get triggered by a client is challenging.
To not harm our clients by reacting out of our wounding, it is important to know our blind spots and reactive patterns. As therapists we often compensate through intellectual detachment or self-sacrificial rescuing instead of owning and holding our vulnerability with compassion and seeing our humanity as a resource. Powerlessness, shame, insecurity and fear of losing control lie beneath our reactivity and compensation.  A genuine and sustainable installation of self-compassion within the client requires the therapeutic relationship to be a template of secure attachment. This does not mean that therapists have to be perfect but rather human in how we deal with conflict, personal distress or empathic distress as it arises within the therapeutic relationship.  Only our shared humanity, the wisdom that comes from it and our authentic heart-to-heart transmission makes clients feel accepted, understood, respected, supported, encouraged, and appreciated and distinguishes us from the therapist robot of the near future. Humility and tolerance of uncertainty are qualities that clients need to navigate these times alongside evidence-based methods.
Talking about it is not enough. We need to feel it, be it and do it.