As you no longer seek approval by dominant others or dim your light out of fear of failing or attracting envy, your relationships will likely change for the better. You feel free to separate from people who disrespect you and are equipped to work on your significant relationships. You are leading yourself from your wise compassionate heart.

Step 4: Relate

The Process

You will be more of your Self. You will feel lighter, happier and more at peace with yourself. The need to perform or prove yourself is replaced by you more fully being and doing you. At this point, you could stop and retire happily from personal development. However, your peace will soon be disturbed by one of those 8 billion people we share this planet with and trigger exiled parts or test the limit of your love and compassion. This is where we get to realize that self-compassion is not an end but a means to an end. It helps us to come into our heart energy and to stay there when we are in relationship.

Unless you have decided to live as a hermit, the human-to-human relational field is the only area through which you can further grow in earth-bound, practical wisdom and compassion. Due to our sentient and sensitive natures this is a dynamic dance of losing our centre and cool and then consciously regaining our balance, poise and perspective only to lose it again! As we own more of our parts triggered uniquely in relationships, we eventually “make partners” as true equals and are free to choose how and with whom to relate. On this foundation of self-awareness and inner freedom we can train to build resilient and satisfying relationships in which we hold space for each other to heal and be healed, to debate differing opinions and to co-create and innovate.

Compassion for Your Parts


In the Compassion for Your Parts Workshop you get to know more of your parts and meet them with compassion using Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) in a group setting. Compassion warms our awareness and reveals more of our inner landscape. We will work with protective and vulnerable parts that show up. You will learn to speak for your parts in the group, which will help you to stay connected with yourself and with others at the same time. We will strengthen our compassionate and wise selves so that you can more easily return to your heart energy in case you have lost yourself in a part. To increase resilience, we will playfully work with our parts that get triggered when we disagree with someone. You might feel more ease around your parts and experience your boundaries as supporting your ability to connect with others.

Does a part need your compassion?

Resilient Relating


My upcoming Resilient Relating Programme will provide you with practical step-by-step guidance to conscious and constructive human-to-human relating. All exercises take place in dyads allowing you to put into practice all your compassion-based parts work thus far. Sitting face-to-face with another human being you will be guided to lay the foundations for heart-based supportive and honest communication. Next you will train to fully establish a resilient relational field and to use it to hold space for each other, to have genuine dialogue and to co-create from collective wisdom. In addition to growing in genuine compassion for others, you will learn to face conflict by holding multiple perspectives in mind instead of getting stuck in right or wrong. You will learn to communicate your perceptions more courageously and trust that connections built on good will can endure differences of perception and opinion. Finally, we learn to tap the collective wisdom of the relational field to arrive at solutions that we could not have arrived at on our own. Our loving connectedness matures and is ready to impact our world in our unique and personal way.

Ready to Relate?